Reduce Your Cravings: Relax, It’s Not Your Willpower (Stress Actually SQUELCHES Willpower)

Hi, let me tell you just a little about myself in case this is your first time reading one of my posts. I’m a former teacher, I taught kindergarten in a public school for 20 years, I’m a wife, I’m a Health Coach, and I love helping busy professional ladies reduce their overwhelm and stress so that you no longer have to suffer from debilitating fatigue or out-of-control cravings.

I like to think of cravings not really as your fault but rather as being messengers of something else.

We all get stressed. We don’t all handle it in the same way. Why is that? Well, we’re all different people. We’re all individuals. We’re all at different time periods of our lives. And also, what we COULD individually handle in the past, we may have a harder time now.

So, what does this have to do with cravings? Well, see if this sounds familiar:

On any given day of the week, you’re running late to work, you didn’t have time to make breakfast so you’re out the door running on empty; you also didn’t have time to make a lunch, so by 11 o’clock, needless to say, you’re ravenous!

So, you head to the cafeteria or the nearby grocery store or nearby Cafe and get a soup and sandwich combo which seems to be the healthiest choice around. Now, you’re so hungry and pressed for time that, you basically inhale your lunch without even thinking.

But you know, that’s okay, it’s not like you’ve totally given up, tomorrow will be better right?!

Then what happens? Life. Life happens. You’ve got meetings after work, you bring paperwork home so you can finish off that project you’ve been working on, you also have a pile of laundry at home and that doesn’t get done on its own. So, what happens? The only way to make sure all of this gets done AND you can go to bed at a decent time tonight is — just order some take out or delivery!

By the end of the week, you’re not feeling so good about yourself right? Like you’ve failed even? You start thinking, “Well, I haven’t been eating terribly but it hasn’t been very healthy either.”

This internal conversation that you have with yourself begins sending you spiralling towards what we could describe as more of a defeatist thinking right? Things like, I did it again, I failed.” So then what happens? Well, the only thing that COULD happen, with all of this negative self-talk, you need some comfort right?

So now you’re sitting on the couch trying to wind down from the day, watching TV, finishing off the paperwork, and what happens? You start thinking about the bag of potato chips sitting in the cabinet or the cookies on the counter, or the chocolate candies sitting in the bowl right in front of you.

And now, let’s follow this right through. I know this because I’ve been there. I’ve been on that couch watching TV, checking my students’ homework and you begin to rationalize, “Well, I haven’t really stuck to eating healthy this week anyway, so I may as well just start again next week”.

And before you even realize it, the bag of chips is empty (or in my case, the chocolate candies) and you’re left dealing with the feelings of guilt, regret and shame, right?

Why did this happen? Why did you give in? Again? Why couldn’t you just have some willpower and not give in to your cravings? Why do you always do this, and beat yourself up afterwards?

What REALLY happens “next week?” Again, I know this because that’s what I did. That’s how I thought. “Next week” turned into “next month.” This is really an exhausting cycle. Am I right? You feel like you’re never going to get your cravings under control. You feel like there is something wrong with your willpower and in essence, with you, because you just can’t seem to stick with it!

And THAT cycle is horrible to go through. You get a craving, you eat, you feel guilty about it, the guilt makes you feel shame, so to make you feel better, you eat. And the cycle keeps going right?

What IS willpower anyway? Let’s define it. One dictionary defined it as: “the ability to control yourself : strong determination that allows you to do something difficult (such as to lose weight).”

Let’s dive into that definition shall we? “The ability,” how does one go about getting ANY ability? The ability to eat, didn’t someone actually teach you the logistics of eating? How to hold the spoon or whatever, how to chew?

The ability to ride a bike, didn’t you have to LEARN HOW to do that? Didn’t somebody have to SHOW you? And then, didn’t you have to practice it?

The ability to drive, didn’t you LEARN HOW to do that? Again, didn’t somebody have to SHOW you? Didn’t you have to practice?

The ability to do your job? Didn’t you have to LEARN HOW to do that? You went to school and trained for it right?

Think about it, you may have really wanted to become a realtor, a surgeon, a nurse, a chiropractor, a banker, a lawyer.

You had the desire right? Did you get to where you are on desire and willpower alone or did you have to learn the different STRATEGIES on HOW to actually do the job that you do?

So, “ability” doesn’t always JUST come from having the willpower. Don’t get me wrong, you DO in fact need a measure of willpower, the thing is, it’s not the ONLY thing.

You need STRATEGIES — practical strategies to draw from in order to successfully reach your goals, whatever they are. To reach your goal of becoming a realtor, a surgeon, a nurse, a lawyer, a banker, etc took learning strategies AND that goes for getting your stress and then your cravings under control.

Why is it that we can understand, and expect, the need for training, the need to learn strategies on a variety of other things in our lives but not for managing the stress in our lives?

Do we come automatically wired to handle stress effectively? No! We need to LEARN HOW to manage it! It just makes sense doesn’t it?!? Especially if we come from a childhood where we may have not been exposed to effective, healthy stress management or coping strategies! Where would we get the strategies if we’re not shown how?

So, here’s something that may sound counterintuitive, you THINK that ignoring your cravings, ignoring your stress, pushing through, beating yourself up with unkind words, would toughen you up and grow yourself some willpower. But what if, what if instead of ignoring your cravings, ignoring your stress, and beating yourself up, what if, giving yourself the same treatment that you would with a dear friend was the answer? What if you started working WITH your body instead of AGAINST it?

What if you could figure out what’s CAUSING, the root cause — what I spoke about in last week’s video — of your cravings and you could address THAT in a loving and gentle way where your body could then respond in a more positive and healthier way instead of rebelling and resisting any efforts you’re making?!?

I like to think that “cravings are messengers.” And that’s because our bodies are constantly “speaking” to us. It speaks to us with signals. Take hunger for example, when your body becomes aware that it needs nourishment, it sends out signals by way of sensations and symptoms that alert us that we’re hungry. It “tells us” we’re hungry with that growling in our belly.

Well, with cravings too, your body is telling you that YOU need something and you need it now! That makes sense right?

So, here’s just a little bit of the science. As we eat, our taste buds in turn, communicate with the brain, letting it know if we’ve eaten foods that provide the nutrients and energy we need. Here’s the interesting part: if, in our meals, we include all tastes — sweet, salty, bitter, sour, pungent, and astringent — then our body will translate that information as having had a meal with complete nutritional content. When we miss one of those tastes, that’s when we usually find ourselves going back in the refrigerator looking for that missing flavor or nutrient, even if we’re already full. Interesting right?

So, food cravings may be a message that something’s out of balance in our body — or in our life. By tuning in to these sensations, and listening to what our body is saying that it needs, then we can address the root cause.

Take for example, you get a stomach ache after eating a meal. Do you push through it and ignore it? Probably not. I’ve done this, where you wonder, “Hmmm. I wonder why my stomach hurts? Was it something I ate? What DID I eat? Could it have been that?” That’s one way of tuning in. That’s listening to what your body MAY be telling you.

So too with cravings, think of them as messengers “telling” you what MAY need to be addressed, in your body AND in your life. Sometimes, the root cause of cravings may be stress. So it makes sense that in order to get your cravings under control, you may need to get your stress under control. I like to use the phrase, “address the stress.”

This is EXACTLY what I do with my clients. If you feel like you need more of these strategies in your life, I’ve got you covered. Just click right here and send me an email and we can set up an initial 10-minute chat.